Divorce was indeed introduced – yet Ireland’s leaders have been remarkably uxorious

The 30th anniversary of the 1995 divorce referendum has been recently commemorated, with, naturally, those opposed to divorce cast as the baddies.

Yet it’s interesting to note how rare divorce or marital separation has been among Ireland’s political leaders.

In a readable new book charting the lives and careers of the sixteen Irish Taoisigh over the course of the last hundred years, it’s striking how uxorious (from the Latin word for ‘wife-loving’) so many of them were – and are.

Matrimony

From W.T. Cosgrave and Eamon de Valera to Albert Reynolds and Michéal Martin, the majority of Irish political leaders have been devoted husbands to their faithful wives.

Jack Lynch wouldn’t take a single decision without consulting his wife Máirín, according to Stephen Collins writing in The Taoiseach, a collection of portraits edited by Iain Dale, authored by a number of contributors.

Jack held Máirín’s advice in such high regard that Seán Lemass teased him about his uxoriousness – although Lemass, too, was a home-loving husband to his wife Kathleen.

Gemma Hussey once complained in her diaries that the entire Cabinet was virtually under the control of Joan Fitzgerald”

W.T. Cosgrave and Éamon de Valera were both pious Catholics who upheld the sanctity of marriage to the highest degree. John A. Costello, writes Charles Lysaght, was in a similar vein, and “lived his faith with charitable acts”; he never really recovered from suddenly losing his beloved wife Ida when he was 65.

Albert Reynolds was married to his spouse Kathleen for fifty years, noted Martin Mansergh, and withdrew to the back benches so he could care for his much-loved wife when she had breast cancer.

Garret Fitzgerald and his intelligent wife Joan operated virtually as a duopoly, as Eoin O’Malley indicates. Although not mentioned in this context, Gemma Hussey once complained in her diaries that the entire Cabinet was virtually under the control of Joan Fitzgerald – so great was her influence on the Taoiseach!

Similarly, John Bruton was in an ideal marriage with his wife Finola, whom Matthew Dempsey describes as “a devout Catholic of strong faith and beliefs, she provided a stable and principled home for the rearing of their four children.”

Liam Cosgrave, according to Deirdre Foley, was so attached to his spouse Vera that, even as Taoiseach, he left Leinster House daily to go home to Beechpark, Rathcoole, to have lunch with her.

No Taoiseach has been divorced, though it is duly chronicled, by Mick Clifford, that Bertie Ahern’s marriage to Miriam broke up in 1987 after twelve years, unsettling him considerably.

Outliers

And Leo Varadkar is not married but in a civil union with his partner (described variously as Dr Michael and Dr Matthew Barrett).  Philip Ryan calls Leo “the first openly gay Taoiseach” – which I think erroneously implies there were secretly gay predecessors.

As for Charles J. Haughey – as Stephen Collins so tactfully puts it in his Jack Lynch profile – Charlie married Seán Lemass’s daughter Maureen but “he did not settle down to a life of quiet domesticity”. Charlie was smitten with the journalist Terry Keane – and from my own knowledge of the situation, the ardour was predominantly on his side – and their relationship lasted twenty years.

Yet there was never any question of divorce, and as Gary Murphy writes, Maureen Haughey “told her husband that they would never speak of the affair but would just continue to live their lives. She remained steadfastly loyal to him.”

❛❛With a historic lens applied, the overall picture of Irish political leaders tends to show a pattern of serene marriages and supportive spouses”

The private life of public personalities is generally more respected in Ireland than it might be in other jurisdictions, and marriages are seldom forensically dissected. This is as it should be, since nobody really knows what the dynamics of a relationship are, behind closed doors.  I have seen strong men behave like lambs at home, and meek women privately exercise iron control – and vice-versa.

But, with a historic lens applied, the overall picture of Irish political leaders tends to show a pattern of serene marriages and supportive spouses.

Divorce was a necessary legislative step – as John Bruton, even as a committed Catholic, recognised. But when it comes to celebrations, why not also highlight the positive – the good marriages that endure?

***

As it happens, I heard someone ask recently what was the best recipe for a long and happy marriage. It would be hard to improve on  Ogden Nash’s witty counsel: “To keep your marriage brimming/With love in the loving cup/Whenever you’re wrong, admit it/Whenever you’re right, shut up!”

***

Advent is not about self-indulgence

Advent calendars have taken a daft turn in recent years, with an explosion of products on offer to count down the days to Christmas. Beauty products are heavily featured for Advent windows, as are chocolates, toys, teas, jewellery, gardening seeds, football images, and even ‘menstrual products’. Capitalism has seen an opportunity and cashes in.

All this eclipses the meaning of Advent for Christians, which is very much not about self-indulgence. And yet perhaps it does keep the concept of Advent in general view. Perhaps?