With the recent celebration of St Valentine’s Day, various expressions of the tinsel of love were on display. Most of it was fun, but all of it inadequate. Still, all such expressions help us touch the hem of something deeper and keep open a portal to love’s sacred depth. The plot of the film P.S. I Love You is interesting to consider. It unfolds around a series of notes, written by a dying man, for delivery one-by-one, to his wife after his death. The notes are written to provide comfort in grief, enkindle hope, and support new life to slowly take root. As someone committed to the synodal pathway, this film made me wonder what series of notes Church authorities could write, to bring new hope to women in our Church today?
We together are missioned to bring life to the substance of the Synod on Synodality’s Final Document which forms part of official Church teaching”
To be sure, not all women feel they need that. Some do not want change. The synodal way is a commitment to deep and respectful listening to all in the Spirit, inviting openness in all to seeing anew. We together are missioned to bring life to the substance of the Synod on Synodality’s Final Document which forms part of official Church teaching. This includes paragraph 60, uniquely dedicated to women. As such, it is not to be sentimentalised but actualised.
Question
There is a scene in P.S. I Love You, during a heated argument, where Gerry (the husband) asks Holly (the wife) “what do you want?” It is an important question. For us too. No assumptions can be made about how women and indeed men prefer to give life to paragraph 60 in each context. They must be asked. Useful opening questions for women could be ‘what is needed so you feel seen?’ and ‘what would having a meaningful voice look like?’ In the film, Holly struggles to answer Gerry’s question. Unsurprisingly. Most women have their gaze largely focused on the needs of others. It is often neither easy nor intuitive to re-centre that gaze on our own needs and desires. Gentle persistence with these questions is vital. With time, answers will flow.
Staying with fantasy and the plot of the film, what kind of notes from Church authorities would help me personally remain hopeful? One would be a commitment to use only inclusive language lectionaries and hymnals for liturgies. Another would be a commitment to ensure gender balance on pastoral councils and every other decision-making body. The desire is neither to take over, nor to be disproportionately burdened with many responsibilities, but to make balanced, impactful, contributions. Third would be a clear acknowledgement of serious errors made in the formulation of doctrine that have trampled on the flourishing of women’s humanity. When female experiences and perspectives are not integrated into doctrinal development, damaging patterns persist and credibility is lost.
A fourth would be to do with our prayers of the faithful. Why can’t we pray for everyone in a way that reflects a more circular hierarchy? As it is, the broad pattern is to first pray for our Pope, then our Bishop, then priests, religious, men and finally women of faith. This top-down hierarchy is now incompatible with the synodal vision of Church.
The impression is still too often given that Mary meek and mild submitted without question. This gives rise to a dangerous implication”
A fifth note reassuring me that communities will, as a priority, be invited and supported to reflect on, discern and action paragraph 60 would be good. Most people still don’t know about it. We need to see material produced by female theologians, mystics, saints and other wise women of faith being used, and serious initiatives advanced to elevate significant women in Scripture to consciousness. Stained-glass windows giving prominence to these women seem few and far between. A sixth note committing the ordained to emphasise the mutuality and reciprocity in Mary’s encounter with the angel of God in the Annunciation would also help. The impression is still too often given that Mary meek and mild submitted without question. This gives rise to a dangerous implication. Tina Beattie’s powerful little book Re-Discovering Mary: Insights from the Gospels can, in one sitting, deeply enrich how we all think and talk about Mary.
Consequence
These may be tinselled suggestions, pollyannaish and of no real consequence. The locus of most decision-making in the Church remains within the ordained ministry. If that remains tilted toward men, how can true synodality ever take root? Without radical equality between men and women within the Church, including within ordained ministry, perhaps no meaningful change can be sustained? The question is a valid one.
Shrove Tuesday has just past us and lent begun. Pancakes and lemon juice reminds me of Mary Ward, and the ‘lemon juice letters’ she wrote while imprisoned. This founder of the Loreto Sisters was locked away by Church authorities and deemed a heretic. Her crime was to dare to pursue a vision for active ministry, rejecting the directive to cloister as other female religious were compelled to. While imprisoned, Mary’s companions sent her parcels of food and clothes wrapped in paper. She used the juice of lemons included in those parcels to write ‘invisible’ notes of encouragement on the wrapping. Her companions applied heat to read them. Church authorities mockingly called the Loreto’s the ‘galloping girls’. Had they not had the courage to gallop, the lives of very many of us would certainly be diminished. Through many personal trials and suppression, Mary Ward refused to be deformed by adversity. Her commitment was to find ways to be transformed by it. We can all honour her, and others like her by doing the same.
Can we also respond better to the “Martha, Martha” in Jesus’ call (Luke 10:41)? How do women in particular better balance perpetual busyness even in the care of others, with listening and discerning what the Spirit now calls us to? It is not of the Spirit to settle on the peripheries, nor accept to be regarded as postscripts to the main event.
