How love connects siblings’ souls on Earth and in Heaven
I’m not even sure if I saw her and yet her spirit is so alive and present with me today, writes Fr Joe Jones
November 22, 2024, it’s mam’s birthday and if she were alive, she would be 95 today. I made the usual visit to her grave bringing the customary bunch of flowers to mark the special occasion. Happy heavenly birthday mam. 12 years gone and yet your spirit lives on in so many ways.
November 23, I woke up from a dream thinking of a child that was born almost 3 years after me. She was stillborn and even though she died at birth in some strange way she is still part of my life. The name my mother gave this child was Catherine. Today, for some reason, Catherine is telling me she is very much present with me. Her spirit feels fully alive and dreaming about her after all these years prompts me to think ‘there is a reason for her presence today?’
Catherine, who had made a very brief appearance into our world had a profound impact on my mother and I’m sure on my father too”
The thoughts of her are clear in my mind. Could it be that I did see Catherine when she came into this world? Does my memory as a 3-year-old child still carry the image of her? I’m not even sure if I saw her and yet her spirit is so alive and present with me today.
Depression
Back in the late 90’s my mam went through a brief period of depression. She wasn’t the kind of women who showed her feelings but at that time she eventually told us that the issue of babies’ organs being kept in hospitals without parents’ consent had upset her very much. Although Catherine was born at home the controversial debate on radio and television made mam think about Catherine and exactly where was her body buried? I remember mam saying that our dad took Catherine to Glasnevin Cemetery where she was buried in the Angels Plot. At that time, she didn’t accompany him. I believe one of his bothers may have gone with him to bury Catherine.
Catherine, who had made a very brief appearance into our world had a profound impact on my mother and I’m sure on my father too. I can’t even begin to imagine what that loss must feel like for any mother and father to lose a child at any stage in a pregnancy. The grief is enormous and we should never under-estimate the sorrow and pain that follows.
I had her name carved on one of the large stones erected in the memory of all those babies who were buried in the Angels Plot”
To help my mother at that time, I went to Glasnevin Cemetery and in the Office, I told the story of my sister Catherine in an effort to find out exactly where she was buried? They were able to tell me the location of her burial and so I had her name carved on one of the large stones erected in the memory of all those babies who were buried in the Angels Plot. When her name was placed on the stone, we, as a family accompanied my mother and went to Catherine’s graveside. I remember we brought flowers, and I said the prayers for the Final Commendation and Burial of a Child. I know it was a healing moment for our mam and a memory for each of us as siblings. Following my dream, I wondered what would Catherine have been like if she were alive today? I was not even sure what date she entered and left our world and yet somehow I needed to find out.
I decided I would go again to Glasnevin Cemetery and find that location of her name placed on that stone and simply remember her there. I arrived at Glasnevin and bought a little plant of roses to bring to the Angels Plot in memory of Catherine. Although it is now many years since that day we, as a family, went to visit her grave, I had not been back there since then. Now, I had to return and find that place once more and, in some way, reconnect our spirits.
For the first time in my life I felt close to this sister whose little life was a gift to the world, a gift I could never forget”
I walked up and down the area of the Angels Plot to find her name, but I couldn’t see it. I thought ‘I can’t leave this area until I find her.’ So I put the plant on the ground and told myself to take my time and go through each stone until I find the name ‘Catherine Jones’.
As I placed the plant on the ground, her name jumped out to me. Finally, it was there, clear for all to see, yet the date had eroded with time and it was difficult to decipher the exact date of her arrival and departure into this life. I remember staying there for some time unaware of people around me, just being happy to be in the presence of this little infant who had come into our lives for such a brief moment in time. For the first time in my life I felt close to this sister whose little life was a gift to the world, a gift I could never forget.
Reconnect
I was happy to reconnect in some small way. On leaving the Angels Plot I sauntered along reflecting on this little infant who had entered my life once more. The Glasnevin Visitor Centre was open and I could see people inside. I thought, I’ll go in and have a look around. There were people about and some were talking to the assistant at the desk. They were looking for information and whereabouts of graves they wanted to visit. I could hardly believe this opportunity was presenting itself to me. This fully alive little spirit continues to knock on the doors of my spirit, pleading with me to let her in.
I asked one of the staff on the desk if she could find the date of my sister’s burial in the Angels Plot? She asked for her name and my parents’ names. “Her name was Catherine Jones and my father was Joseph and my mother was Nellie (Ellen) Jones.” She needed a final piece of information to complete the search, the address of my parents. I remember saying; “we lived in Eccles St but I believe Catherine may have been born in Annamoe, in Cabra.” She immediately found the information on her database and was able to tell me Catherine was born on December 6, 1960. She had indeed been born in Annamoe. Finally, I had a date. An additional piece of information was provided which surprised me. The assistant asked, “Would you like to know the exact location of your sisters burial?” I could hardly believe she was offering this information. She took out a map on an A4 piece of paper and began to mark the location where I would find Catherine’s burial spot. “The exact location and co-ordinates in the Angels Plot is; LA – 112.” I could not believe I was hearing these words. I thanked the young lady for her welcome assistance. For some reason, I don’t remember getting this information all those years ago when we had her name printed on the stone.
I went back to the Angels Plot with my map in hand and I was able to walk with the co-ordinates and find the exact spot where Catherine’s little body lay. I remember standing over the area and feeling so connected with this little spirit that had once again come into my life.
Her spirit lives on. We are connected. I will be forever grateful that she has come to me and is with me”
I would have been 2 years and 10 months old. Could I possibly have a memory of that sacred time in all of our lives? The fourth child in my family whose little life was taken from us on that day. My sister Breda often spoke of her memory as she would have been almost 8 years old. She remembered being excited about the possibility of having a sister and then that excitement turning to a dreadful grief and loss.
I find myself asking: why is Catherine coming to me this day? This stillborn child who entered our world for the briefest of moments yet her spirit filled the lives of my parents, and her siblings in a way that we may never fully comprehend in this life. Her spirit lives on. We are connected. I will be forever grateful that she has come to me and is with me. While our time together was short I feel that I know her so well. I know I love her now as much as I love each member of my family.
Pierre Teilhard de Chardin in one of his great statements reminds us: “We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience.”
Celebrate
I often use these words as I celebrate the Funeral Rites for those who have completed the human part of their spiritual journey. Now, I am reminded once more that Catherine’s human journey was lived for a short time within the confines of my mother’s womb. Did her life have meaning? Was she sent into this world with a purpose? Yes, her very short existence brought much love for a brief moment. The grief that my parents experienced was the price they paid for the love they found in that brief part of this little soul’s human journey. Catherine had come to bless them in the human part of their journey too. Her brief human journey, although confined, was sent to tell us that God loves us and will never leave us. She has once again entered my human journey too and I will be forever grateful that she has brought her memory to me once again.
I am grateful that God has given some very special souls to accompany me on this human part of my spiritual journey”
My parents, Nellie and Joe, my sister Breda and my brother Johnny have completed their human journey too and now they enjoy the company of Catherine. They each will have had their own memories of Catherine as she entered and left this world for the briefest of moments. Now they live together in the new world that our faith teaches us we will all enjoy one day.
Rest in peace dear souls and until we meet again, know that I am filled with love for each of you. I am grateful that God has given some very special souls to accompany me on this human part of my spiritual journey. Our souls, our spirits are eternally connected and one day we will understand the real reason for the grief we experience in the loss of the human spirits we meet along this part of our spiritual journey.
Fr Joe Jones is a retired priest of Dublin Archdiocese, he is a former Chaplain to the Deaf Community, Chaplain in DCU and former parish priest in Bonnybrook parish. He is currently doing a course in Milltown on Spiritual Direction.
